The Moment of Truth..

This is a poem I wrote for a college competition and bagged the first place in. The topic given was ‘The Moment of Truth’. This poem is about a woman who is giving birth out of a troubled marriage and her moment of truth. 

The wheels spinning against the cold white hospital floors,

Writhing in pain as they roll me in,

Push me past the swinging operation theatre doors,

This is the most pain in which I’ve ever been.

Lightheaded, blinded by the overhead lights,

I try to focus on the good that’s gonna come out of all this,

This entire situation so different from my lonely tear-filled nights,

I’m in the centre of attention now, stronger than ever, something seems amiss.

Unaware of all the bedlam surrounding me,

Numbed to other sensations altogether by overwhelming pain,

A soft voice over me whispers asking me to count, one-two-three..

My eyes close slowly, as I count, like a curtain of rain.

I didn’t feel a thing now, just my thoughts and myself,

A feeling of zen almost, as I think back to all I had.

And I feel my insides crying, a tiny cry of help,

As I think about my baby’s dad.

A man as low as my shattered hopes,

Married young, I learnt nothing but to obey;

Bound to this marriage by tightly bound ropes,

Raped, abused; All I did was pray.

Living with him, I changed.

From a bubbly child with hopes so bright,

I was now a slave to him, I seemed calm; My insides enraged.

But I never had the strength to set things right.

He took my childhood away from me,

Along with all of my aspirations and dreams.

And to this broken family, I was going to bring a baby?

What if he robs it of its innocence? Quite likely, that seems.

NO! Not ‘it’, ‘SHE’. My baby will be a reflection of the old me.

I’ll protect her from this devil, she shall never call him dad,

I’ll make sure her life is filled with love, dreams and possibility,

And she’ll never look back at the life she could have had.

As I think of all this, I feel strong.

I can do this alone, I can surely try,

That man is nothing but wrong..

And that’s when I hear a tiny cry..

A cry, that through the silence of my dark thoughts, tore;

I could feel my insides light up like a thousand warm suns shine,

I’m not alone any more,

I have a daughter I can call mine.

As I held her in my arms, I realise,

I know her longer than anyone else ever can,

Her tiny fingers, her tiny toes and tightly shut eyes,

I will protect this baby from that man.

With the strength I never knew I had, I realise that I am now a mother,

I smile at her, a smile so wide.

She’ll know love like no other,

She’s the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.

I made the biggest decision of my life,

My moment of truth was hearing my baby cry,

I will no longer be that man’s wife,

Protecting my baby girl is what I’m going to live by..

-Neha Nambiar

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